Things that are making me happy today

1. My husband took Charlotte downstairs and slept on the couch so that I could sleep when she wouldn't settle down after eating.

2. Charlotte fell asleep on her own for her morning nap.

3. Charlotte stayed asleep as I picked her up, carried her visiting teaching, and laid her back down in her bed to finish out a three hour nap.

4. My federal taxes are done!

5. I took my children to the park after school. That means I feel reasonably confident that my six week old can handle it.

6. As soon as my husband gets home I'm abandoning my children and going running. No one screams when I'm running.

7. It's really warm outside. Think mid-70s.

Frustrated

I think one of the most frustrating things about being a mother is when you're having a horrible day and it is mostly (if not all) your fault. A close second to this is when you're having a hellish day and you're doing everything right. Because seriously, what on earth are you supposed to change to make the day better?!
We were greeted this morning with some sunshiny faces. My children were dressed and Cute Girl had done her chores and I actually made breakfast.Then Handsome Face played with some play dough while I cleaned up the kitchen.


Cute Girl helped with the dishes.
After playing kitchen in the pretend kitchen upstairs (so boring by the way), I left my children to their activities in order to start on my to-do list. Things quickly spiraled downhill. After two hours of tantrums and fights and time-outs we finally had lunch and everyone calmed down. Oh I hated those few hours.
And now we're here. Cute Girl practiced some sewing,
while I finished this banner. It was supposed to be a project that Cute Girl and I could make together for the Fourth but then my children took to their sickbeds for a week. She did help man the sewing machine and trimmed some edges.

Summer Fun

My children and I checked out Heat Wave by Eileen Spinelli this week from the library. It tells the story of a quiet, sleepy little town called Lumberville during the forties or fifties. Lumberville is hit by the summer sun and almost everything comes to a stop. The people of Lumberville play in hoses, sell lemonade, lay on cold linoleum to listen to the radio, and nap on park benches.
It's a pleasant story and it made me wishful for those more simple times. I live in one of the hottest places in the country and the only thing that closes come summertime is the golf course.
I miss summer at home in Indiana. You can't sit on porch swings and talk with the neighbors here.
I have been busy planning the rest of our summer activities this week. As I've picked out the best pool days and found the library story time schedule, I keep thinking back to my own childhood summers and I want so badly to recreate those summers for my own children. I lived outside during the summer (actually I was banned from the house). My siblings and I were either on the swings or crawling around in the field of weeds, making tunnels. We lived off of Popsicles and Schwans ice cream cups. I mowed in my bathing suit and hung laundry on the line. And now, looking back, I even miss picking all those acres of strawberries and selling them by the roadside.
But we can't do any of that here. If you're not in the pool you can't go outside because you're skin will burn - not from the sun, from the heat. And we don't have fields, or woods, or running water. Kids can't sell lemonade because there's no one outside to sell it to.
But we're going to try to make it a simple, fun summer. I bought extra ice cream treats today and we're already thinking about our Fourth of July decorations. Now if only I could get some fireflies to migrate west or a river to divert its course...
So, how about you? Are you looking forward to summer? Is it going to be anything like your childhood? Or is it just crazy busy and over-planned like everything else seems to be in this world?

How I Ruined Valentine's Day

Our weekend had some lovely spots. I hope yours did too. It also had some very, very bad spots. I hope yours didn't.
Friday morning dawned brightly and we all headed out the door. All of us, as in even the Rocket Scientist because it was his Friday off. I highly recommend working for companies that give you every other Friday off. And an automatic week at Christmas. I'm just sayin'.
First we headed to the doctors office where it was confirmed that Handsome Face's double ear infection was, indeed, gone. Then we went to the library where I scored a big bag of discount books and the kids perused the shelves with their father for some temporary goodies. Prior to this book fest we sat on a bench in the sunshine eating cashews and fruit leather as we arrived at the library 15 minutes too early. Who ever heard of opening at 9am every day of the week except Friday?! But the sunshine and snack was most welcome.
Then we headed to a local artists' colony for the annual art festival. We had fun walking around, seeing all the vendors' wares, and sampling food. The kids loved riding the horse drawn carriage and seeing all the dogs. I loved the wild blackberry honey I bought (the kids liked tasting all the honey and getting sticky). We all got tired and a little bit sunburned as I never remember the sunscreen in February.
When we got home I thought my allergies had started for the year. My throat hurt a LOT. So I took my drugs and a nap and then we all watched Bedknobs and Broomsticks for family movie night and ate chicken carbonara from the Rocket Scientist's kitchen.
That night I got up with children and when I came back to bed my husband came over to cuddle with me. When he felt my legs he said, "Wow, you're warm." And then his head slid up to my forehead and he said, "And not the good kind." So I went to the bathroom, took my temperature, found I had a fever, took two Tylenol and went back to bed.
The next morning the kids blissfully let us stay in bed til almost eight o'clock. We all got up, got ready for the day, the kids went to the grocery with their dad and I cleaned the kitchen. I then collapsed back into my bed. I only ever got up when some dire physical need required it. My house got trashed that day and we had to cancel our Valentine's date that night. I even had a real baby-sitter! And there was no cookie making that day. So sad.
It turned out that Cute Girl also had the flu bug. So on Sunday we stayed home together and the boys went to church. The Rocket Scientist made the heart shaped pancakes with strawberries and cream that I was going to make for the kids. Then he brought me some in bed at eight o'clock. Yes, I slept til eight o'clock. And I went back to bed at ten. I repeated this pattern for the rest of the day. And the boys once again went to our friends' for Valentine's Day dinner all by themselves. Cute Girl had a bath and was out in seconds. I laid on the couch and read 22 pages of the Book of Mormon until they came home. Then we went to bed. Exciting, huh?
And now Handsome Face has pink eye in both eyes. Will it never end?

A little over a week ago I ran an 8-mile race with my friend Lisa. Here we are before the race.
There are no actual race pictures because the Rocket Scientist forgot to bring the camera. And I didn't post sooner because I was waiting on Lisa to send me her pictures but unfortunately she got the stomach flu that night.
It was a lot fun. The race trail wound through the pecan groves that surround our town. It was really pretty and so much fun to be among so much green. Cactus and tumbleweeds just aren't that green.
We ran together for about the first mile and a quarter and then when I looked back I couldn't see her anymore. I felt kind of bad about that but I got to cheer her on to the finish line!
My goal was not lofty - I only wanted to keep up 10-minute miles - but I did it! I finished in an hour and twenty-four minutes. See, what they didn't tell us at the beginning was that our 8-mile race was actually an 8 and a HALF mile race. I got to the eight mile marker and the finish line wasn't even in sight!
The kids came just in time to cheer me on to the finish line and to eat my orange. Then we cheered for Lisa 20 or 30 minutes later. Afterwards we let the kids go to the jumping castles at the pecan festival next door. Here they are on the train with their daddy.

Things that made me happy yesterday

Finding a way to use the spinach and tomato I had sitting in the fridge when I was out of lettuce

My pretty Christmas table

Homemade bread, even if Jacie didn't come help me make it ;)

So, so, so much

I have been meaning to post all week, but life is just so full right now that I feel like I'm barely staying a float.
Yesterday was not such a nice day. I was not a good mommy or wife or housekeeper or anything. But we'll only mention the fact that I ate lots of M&Ms and had three pb/chocolate cookie bar things at RS last night. So very discouraging when the day before I hit the lowest weight I've had in months.
But this morning we are already doing better. I was awake by 5:30 to lay in bed and think about my day, read my scriptures and say goodbye to my husband. Handsome Face didn't wake up until 7am (?!?!) and I had already stripped my bed and started the wash, fed Cute Girl and myself, read her five stories, taken my allergy meds, and finished my internet updates. Oh, and Cute Girl had gone to the bathroom, made her bed, got herself dressed, and cleared her breakfast dishes. Not too bad.
We have now completed two weeks of seminary classes. It hasn't been as bad as I originally thought it would be. That is indeed a blessing. But it isn't a walk in the park either. Cute Girl is always disappointed when she isn't awake to say goodbye to her dad at 5:45 but I'm disappointed when she is. So the Rocket Scientist can no longer park in the garage because it wakes up all my children. He doesn't like it but he's pretty good natured about it.
I don't think either of us realized just how tired he would be. He only gets up 15 minutes earlier than before but with teaching a bunch of teenagers and then nine hours of work plus hour and a half of driving everyday, he's pretty worn out. Then he still has to come home, help with dinner and bedtime, do any home teaching that may be scheduled, and then prepare for the next day's lesson. We have some really exciting evenings in our house, let me tell you!
Last Sunday I was released as a Sunbeam teacher and called into the Young Women's presidency. I must admit that I am pretty happy not to be in Primary anymore. I loved my sweet, little Sunbeams but it was hard teaching them and I was always exhausted. I have never been in the Young Women and I'm excited to work with the Beehives. But all of a sudden there are activities that are coming and the details aren't worked out and I have no idea what I'm doing. It's kind of overwhelming. We have a shooting activity this Saturday that I'm not thrilled about but I feel like I have to go so I will. Hopefully the inactive girls it is supposed to be targeting will actually come.
One of the sisters I visit teach is also my neighbor and we're both in the neighborhood mommies group. She's less active and I try to do everything I can to help her, although I'm sure I don't do enough. She has a very spirited little girl who is eight months younger than Cute Girl. Last year her daughter was enrolled in preschool at the elementary but it's too expensive to enroll her again so she started a preschool group like Joy school. We meet twice a week for two hours and trade weeks so we each only teach once a month. Now, I am not a big believer in preschool. I've never felt like Cute Girl needed to go to preschool and she learns just fine at home. But I wanted to help my friend out so we joined the group. I'm constantly back and forth on it. I taught the first week and after the first day I was ready to quit. The kids are on all different levels and I couldn't keep them focused. Cute Girl got left to herself during table work because I was too busy helping everyone else. She filled an entire line with perfect A's and a's before moving on to B's because she was so bored. But then the second day was infinitely better and Cute Girl seems to like it. But I miss my freedom on Tuesday and Thursdays. We used to meet up in the park to play with neigborhood kids but that's getting harder to do. And then I realized that to walk Cute Girl to class and home again was going to take up to an hour and 20 minutes a day. For a two hour class! (We still don't have a car.) Once again I was ready to drop out but my friend Nicole is graciously driving her. But now I feel so indebted to her and I still haven't figured out how to get Cute Girl to Nicole's house when she's teaching and it's kept me up at night.
Oh, there is so much more going on in life but my kids are clamoring to get to the swimming pool. Life really is very full right now.

Fatigue

Today I was awake at 4:45am. I had to hurry and run before the Rocket Scientist rushed off to teach his first day of seminary. It was still dark.
All morning I've been a little (ie a lot) tired. I should have stayed home but we went into the city to shop with a friend because I already said I would and I felt bad backing out. And it was a fine day, although a little long, and now I'm really tired. Handsome Face is sleeping fitfully through his late nap and Cute Girl is bored. We just made a paper plate chick and now I'm waiting for the next craft request.
I should really clean my kitchen. Or plan FHE. Actually, I should probably do both. But I'm tired. The whole weekend of worrying about seminary (not even MY calling) wore down my nerves. Do you ever feel like that? It always amazes me how exhausted you can become just from thinking about something.

Life, yesterday

Yesterday I locked myself into my room. That means I locked my children OUT. Do you ever have days like that?
Now here's a disclaimer: we did not have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. We accomplished much that was good. Cute Girl and I picked up her room and the toy room. I cleaned the kids' bathroom and put away Handsome Face's clean laundry. We managed to keep the downstairs picked up and there was a steady stream of dishes going into the dishwasher instead of piling up on the counters.
And there were those things that were moderately good. I tried to read the kids some books; I think we got through two. We were all in the toy room together but the kids didn't really need me for their games so I ended up reading Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle while Handsome Face played with the Jack-in-the-Box beside me. I made jam. Everyone took a nap.
But the things that tend to stick out from yesterday are the things that truly were rotten. I was on the computer too much. I was too tired to get out of bed and go running yesterday morning. Chicken boiled dry and filled the house with smoke. Cute Girl is going through one of her "wetting the pants" phases as a means of asserting her control over the household. Handsome Face screams all day long, constantly wanting what he can't have and then throwing a tantrum when denied.
And so I ended up in my bedroom, door locked, little kids knocking on the door and Handsome Face calling out "Mum-my! Mum-my!" It really was a miracle they weren't screaming to be let in.
Today I resolve to do better. We've already had one potty accident on the freshly mopped bathroom floor but I didn't have to clean it up so I don't think it counts. I went running. Farther than I went on Monday even. And everyone's dressed, fed, and the beds are made. And now I'm going to turn off my computer and go brush everyone's teeth. Hopefully none of the doors will be locked at the end of the day.

The Downturn

I loved this article. Am I a total dork for loving all things financial? Last night I was musing about how I should go back to school to be a financial advisor (history degrees don't go very far) and the Rocket Scientist said why bother? I should just go to the Internet and learn everything I need to know. He's so cynical.

To-Do List

My kids eating breakfast this morning. Handsome Face is putting applesauce on his cream cheese bagel.

We have so much to do today! Tomorrow is Cute Girl's birthday party and we have to clean the house, make the food, make a grocery list and go shopping, finish putting Cute Girl's hutch together, clean up the paint mess, etc., etc. It could be a really great day because I love cleaning and feeling productive. And since it is all in preparation for her birthday, Cute Girl might actually cooperate. And if she's being nice and helpful then it is more likely that her brother will be in a good mood.

We'll keep our fingers crossed.

Quiet

I'm sitting at the computer going through my daily blog roll. I'm sleepy from eating two stuffed zucchinis. Cute Girl is at the post office with her aunt. Handsome Face is asleep in bed. The house is quiet. This is nice.

Just Life

Right now I'm dancing around the kitchen, slicing apples for my sweet boy. He's swaying back and forth in his high chair. We're listening to Ella Fitzgerald's Jingle Bells. My mostly-sweet girl is on the landing, crying her eyes out and being ridiculous.
We've been busy all morning. First getting ready for the day and playing in the toy room, then going to the park to jump in leaves with our little friends. The living room is almost free of post-vacation debris. Only two major piles of laundry are left. Hopefully everyone will take a good nap so we can catch up on some much-needed sleep.
Hope you're all having a pleasant day. Thanksgiving updates to come

My life has become crazy busy. Strange, as I stay at home with my children and have no car. But about a month ago a mother's group was organized in the neighborhood. It's been so fun. We have playdates at one of the neighborhood playgrounds almost daily. And every other Wednesday we have a picnic. The kids and I have loved it. The kids have friends and Cute Girl is really coming out of her shell. They're also getting tons of exercise. Speaking of, I am too. Half the moms go running/walking in the morning and even though we don't plan it, we run into each other most of the time and then we end up spending the whole morning together. But it eats up all my free time. Hence I don't ever blog anymore. Maybe I'll get better. We'll see.

But here are some pictures from the past few weeks.The Rocket Scientist's Apple Pie

How he puts shoes onStealing Dad's Cheerios because his aren't good enough

A Day Off

Today I got away from my kids for an entire day. It was great! Granted, we were an hour late getting home and I was practically jumping out of my skin to hurry up and get back to them but it was still nice to get away. The purpose in hiring a baby-sitter and driving hours to the north was to go to the Temple. We haven't been since Sheri's wedding in June, unless you count our trip to the Louisville Temple in July where we got there just to discover the Temple was closed for maintenance. Bummer.
It was so nice to be in the Temple. Life is so busy that I almost always feel some level of stress but in the Temple all is calm and quiet. Maybe a little too quiet. Cute Girl woke me up WELL before the crack of dawn and refused to go back to sleep or do anything but eat breakfast with her mama. So I kept finding myself snapping back to attention, not remembering having closed my eyes. The Rocket Scientist had no problem - but he did get TWO more hours of sleep than I did.
Afterwards it was almost two o'clock and we were starving. We ate at a little diner place and I had the biggest cheeseburger in the world. It was super yummy but a bit more than my usual pbj. I think I ate a quarter of it - maybe a third. And there were great fries (no trans fat!) and so much Oreo milkshake with real whipped cream that I couldn't even finish it. And that's a capital crime in our household.
And since we were already in debt to the babysitter for a year's worth of paychecks we decided we'd hit Ikea on the way home. I was looking for inspiration for Handsome Face's room (he's still in our permanent baby nursery). And I found this: I am in love. I can't stop looking at it. It just makes me smile. You can't see them but there is a little blue bird and a bee on the other side of the shade. It's just so happy!
I've been having a really hard time deciding what to do with his room. My only inspiration previously was Handsome Face's sock monkey jack-in-the-box which has very similar colors to the shade. Greens, yellows, reds, and blues. What says "little boy" more?
So the real dilemma is what to do with the walls? I've thought about a shade of brick red with tan bead board, white with dark yellow-green, chair railing... Our other bedrooms consist of one entirely pink room and one room with three light green walls and one yellow. Those rooms were easy. This one's not. What would you do? I'm soliciting all opinions. Ready, set, go!

Monkey

It was a long day. But I went to the Relief Society Broadcast and it was lovely, lovely, lovely.

And for your viewing pleasure, I give you all the places he managed to climb up to today.
And when Daddy was being a meanie during the Broadcast he came to the garage door and cried for his mama to come home. Now how could that not melt your heart? (And Dad isn't really mean - he just wasn't allowed on the kitchen table - Mama's rule)

A Little Help

Occasionally I get comments saying something to the effect of, "Oh, you're such a great mom!" And when I see such a comment I stop and ask myself, "Are they reading the same blog I am? How on earth have they become so deluded!" (That's a bit tongue-in-cheek.)
Ok, so I'm not a horrible mother. I'm not saying that at all. I love my kids, they're fed and dressed, they don't get beaten, and they at least get a bedtime story. But in no way do I think I deserve the "World's Best Mom" title. But I'd like to have it. And someday I hope my kids think I deserve it. So I'm working on it.
So, here's a little known secret. I don't usually tell people what I fast for but today I'll make an exception. Last Fast Sunday I fasted to be a better mom. Wrapped up in that plea were thoughts of patience, endurance, a little more love (and maybe a bit less screaming). We have been having a very difficult and trying month or two and I was out of options. There were days that I really thought I hated being a mom and I just wanted someone to come and take over. Now I only thought I hated it because if I bothered to pause for two seconds and tried to be honest with myself I remembered that I would never want anyone else even pretending to raise my children. But then the chaos would continue and those two seconds just didn't seem to be enough.
Now back to the fasting. Like I said, I was out of options. Things weren't getting better, I was miserable, and my children were not getting what they deserved. So I turned it over to the Lord. And then a tiny miracle. I was exhausted all day Sunday (it was fasting day afterall) but not a loud word escaped my lips. I was too tired and being patient was just easier that day. And then it happened again the next day. And then the next. And... well, we're on day ten and no one has heard Mommy yell once.
Please note, cause this is important, that the miracle did not happen in my children. They still fight and make messes and completely ignore me. No, it wasn't that easy. The change occurred in me. Although I'm not quite sure I've actually even changed yet. Maybe a teensy little bit. But not much. No, I'm convinced that the Lord is doing most of the work here because I can't and I asked. And maybe as I slowly have my change of heart I'll find that I'm doing more and more on my own. And then maybe I'll be the World's Greatest Mom.

Question

Does it count as quality time if you're in the toyroom working on the budget or reading a book while your kids play around you (often making a budget of her own)? I am often stumped as to how much time to call "quality." I'm home with them all day long, so how much devoted, sit-down, only playing time does there need to be? I get really bored playing "camping." Not to mention the fact that I usually commit to playing a game only to be bossed around doing dumb things like packing bags or she gets side-tracked and I'm left sitting there. So what's enough?

Where the Wild Things Are

Do you ever just have one of those days? We tried to turn the morning around by making cookies at 10:30 in the morning and then watching Strawberry Shortcake (a RARE treat in our house) while they baked. Since Handsome Face was napping this did afford me a while of peace and quiet. But then the cranky monsters came back. We'll see what else we come up with.

Wednesday is Scrapbook day. Jennifer, Rachel, and Jodell came over for more chatting than scrapping and then we went out for Chinese food. It was fun. At one point we realized that it was rather quiet and we found these two absorbed in raisins and Aladdin. It didn't last long. They were soon back to fighting over who got what cars.And tonight as we were watching the Republican National Convention, Handsome Face decided to get down with all the delegates.

I enjoyed Palin's speech although I wish there was more substance than bravado to these kinds of things. Historic election though. For the first time in history there will be either an African-American or a woman entering the White House. Kind of exciting.