Kids: For Sale

So, do your kids ever drive you crazy?



This is a rhetorical question. If I posed it seriously I imagine by inbox would be overflowing by noon.



I think it is a prerequisite that all children must receive training on "how to make your parents nutsy" before leaving the hospital. At the core of this training is this basic principle: just when your parents think things are going to settle down a little, switch tactics.



For example, my dear, sweet, precious, darling (yes, I'm trying to convince myself), little S took a very long time this summer to start staying in bed. She had been able to climb out of her crib by herself for a long time, but she usually only did this at playtime. When she was in her crib for sleeping purposes, she stayed put until we came to her, no matter the circumstances. Sounds sublime, right? It was. Then she decided to change things up a bit. She started getting out of bed. ALL THE TIME. We tried everything. The most outrageous was putting her twin mattress (we weren't using it yet) on TOP of the crib (which was turned around so the back was facing out) to make a sort of box. She got out of it. Finally N turned the doorknob around so the lock was on the outside. She still got out, but she was trapped. And amazingly once she realized there was no getting out of this one, she would go BACK to bed and fall asleep. Wonderful! Problem solved you may say.



The problem is NEVER solved with a two-year-old.



So our story continues. S did really well for awhile. We didn't even have to lock the door anymore. She just stayed there - or at least only got out once. But then something changed. She's now waking up two to three times a night and coming into our room for no reason. I have to get up, put her back in bed, along with the random requests for more drinks, songs, etc. And if Dad tries to do it she screams and wakes up her brother. Between the two little ones, it all adds up to me getting out of bed four to six times a night while their papa gets to sleep away (not that it's his fault). On the weekends he tries to let me sleep in at least but S screams cause she only wants Mommy and that makes M scream too. And then she's whiny and cries all day long. It's REALLY irritating.



But every now and then she redeems herself. I was huffing around the kitchen, feeling thoroughly annoyed with her and trying to cook my breakfast (because everything simple is on the off limits list) when I got burned by hot water from the pan lid. I was silently cursing my fate and running cold water on my hand when S comes up and wraps her arms around my legs, patting the back with her hands, and telling me it'll be alright.



And maybe she's right. It could be alright. Now if I could only get into the shower...